The Sex Life of an Ordinary Girl

Every relationship has its day and sometimes you just have to let things go. As a mature and sophisticated woman of the world, I reject this theory. No one dumps me and it’s not over until I say so. And yes, I will go to almost any lengths in order to get what I want and convince my man that it is in fact what he wants. Men really are that simple and easy, they just get distracted by the idea that they could have a great bachelor pad with their PlayStation and takeaway pizza.

So when my man said he was starting to feel like maybe he wasn’t ready (for what - who bloody knows?) I automatically went into battle mode. I had worked too damn hard at this relationship for it to end just like that.

Rule one – Never, ever beg a man to stay

Rule two – Use all your best moves to remind him what he will be missing

With these two rules in mind I began to compose my plan. Firstly, I hung back and let him have some time by himself, or rather getting rat arsed in the pub with his friends, watching football. Secondly, I left his washing to pile up, while I did my own and strategically left my tiniest undies in prime position on the radiator. And thirdly, I cooked his favourite shepherd's pie and left it for him while I went out with the girls. And then, I waited.

Works every time! I came home to find the bed scattered with rose petals, a bit of Bruce Springsteen on the player and a bottle of Champagne waiting on the bedside table. But best of all I found my boyfriend on his knees with a very tiny box in his hands, and a very big apology waiting to be heard.

After a beautifully crafted proposal I agreed to become Mrs. Gorgeous and then we made up over and over again until we collapsed, exhausted into our bed.

All I had to do was sit back and wait to get what I wanted. And the best part – I didn’t even have to agree to a threesome to get it!