Odds and Sods: Men To Avoid – The Stingy One

He shares nothing with anyone…apart from his share of the bill

Case number: 011

Title: The Stingy One

Also known as: The Skin Flint

You know he's The Stingy One because: He’s the one who orders water when it’s his round… in fact, he doesn’t ever pay for a round. He disappears to the loo just in time for it to be his turn to pay and only seems to have friends that are equally mean with their pennies.

You of course didn’t know any of this when he stretched his wallet open long enough to half the bill on your first date. You thought he was just being fair and in touch with his inner feminist by giving you the right to pay as well instead of footing the bill like a chivalrous old cad…But you don’t know he’s only paid half because he thought he’d get lucky.

Traits: For your first anniversary he buys you vouchers and coupons, spends his days trying to figure out what buses will get him to work faster than his car as it’s cheaper and doesn’t bat an eyelid when he proudly tells people he’s a lawyer, earning well over £40k a year. You’d understand if he was on the dole or something, but the man has just bought you flowers from a garage, for God’s sake!

It’s bad enough when you’re together, far worse when you’re in a group. For it is then that his unparalleled levels of stinginess reaches ridiculous proportions as he blatantly refuses to order anything more than a salad, meticulously works out his share of the bill (that will be £3.27 to be precise) and gulps back his water as you look on, red faced and mortified.

Bad enough that he has the social skills of Scrooge, he then spends the evening willingly accepting his share of the drinks, expects you to foot his share of the cab fare home and is surprised when the last thing you find him is desirable. The thing is, you don’t mind if he’s careful with his money because you’re not materialistic at all. But this boy is just embarrassing.

Most likely to say: ‘I don’t think it’s my round, is it?’, ‘Do you mind getting this and I’ll get the next one?’, 'You could have bought the Lambrini, but I guess it’s your money, not mine.’

Typical conversation:

Girlfriend: ‘Oh, you bought me a year’s subscription to Top Golfer magazine? Great’

The Stingy One: ‘I know. And it was a bargain, too.’

What The Stingy One Really Means: ‘I know. And it was a bargain, too. I got it free off one of the lads in work. I don’t even care that you’ve never even hinted you might like golf. Nothing says I love you like a freebie.’
 
Celebrity Stingy Ones: Golfer Tiger Woods infamously left just a £2 tip on a £65 bill in Orlando. Bad Tiger!

Toxic boy rating: Go out and buy yourself something nice – like a new fella – 7/10

Verdict: You don’t need a man who embarrasses you. You’re no gold digger, but tip the waitress at least, man!