Advice: Ask Aunt Sally

Dear Aunt Sally,
 
In May this year I met this new guy through mutual friends. We hit it off straight away and got on great so we dated for 3 weeks. During these three weeks it was quite intense - for example I'd see him maybe 2-3 times a week and we'd talk every day. Also he was only just out of a 2 year relationship with a girl that broke his heart (although he'd never admit that).

I always knew in the back of my mind that it was a good possibility I was a rebound. So after these three weeks he sat me down one night and explained that it was too soon for him after his ex and that he didn't want this to keep going the way it was and breaking my heart - blah blah blah.
 
I thought was actually nice of him to stop it and not just use me. Anyway we stayed good friends although we wouldn't see each other much he would send me the odd text here and there to see how I was doing. THEN this weekend he asked me out on a date next, which I accepted.

My friends are telling me to 'play it cool' which personally I find is something very hard to do! I always let him text me first I don't make myself too available and I'm not going to sleep with him. How much cooler do I need to go? Is there some way I can play it cool and yet still get to spend time with him and enjoy his company? I don't want to lose him again!
 
Caroline,
Leicester

Aunt Sally says...

By all means go on the date, but if you say you won't sleep with him you need to mean it - no matching undies, no shaving your legs! Everyone knows during the break up process there are two rebound periods. The instant one and then a few months later when it's finally sunk in your ex won't have you back and your last shag was so long ago Ricky Ponting is starting to look good!

The easy way out of this bleak period is to turn to someone you expect to have sex with you. In his case it's you. You were foolish enough to do it while he was clearly emotionally unsteady so he thinks you'll do it again.

Sorry to be blunt but if he thought you were so amazing he wouldn't have been pining for his ex the first time he was with you. If you don't mind being the rebound chick twice then go for it - because it's all you'll ever be.

If I were you I'd ask your friends about his ex's situation because I'm willing to bet she's got someone new and hotter and he's just looking to throw you in her face. You strike me as the kind of girl who reeks of desperation. He can smell it and that's why he's texting you, so wash that smell off! I think you'd be in this mouth frothing frenzy over any man - and darling, that is not attractive.

But go on the date, make sure he pays, try and leave it with some dignity, chill out about it. Don't watch Renee Zellweger films for romantic inspiration, she's squinty eyed and useless, she'll teach you nothing!

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