Advice: Ask Aunt Sally

Dear Aunt Sally,

I am currently a member of my local gym, where I like to take part in a selection of different classes. I really enjoy my yoga class, and just recently my gym has hired a new, very buff looking yoga instructor much to my delight because before we had a smelly hippy woman who wore shorts that were too tight for her.

So the new yoga guy has been working out amazingly for me and making yoga even better - however recently I have noticed myself get a bit hot and bothered under my leggings when the yoga man helps me with my stretches.

It has gotten so bad I tremble at his touch and struggle to get into even the simplest of sun salutations. What do you think I should do because I really love my yoga and desperately don’t want to quit it as it’s the only one my gym does. Do you think maybe Pilates instead?

Jo
Fulham, London

Aunt Sally says...

Dear God woman, calm down! You'll give yourself a nose bleed!

You need to find some sort of outlet for these urges before you get done for sexual harassment. If you can't control them, sadly pilates is the not the class for you. Or maybe you can find out where your former tutor has gone? It would certainly keep you calm under your leggings!

I do however feel that the key to solving your problems is to make sure you get a good seeing to. Your lovelife must be in pretty dire straits if you have been reduced to lusting after a gym instructor who is either an unattractive meat head or a total queen.

If you aren't looking for something regular then there are many websites for people who just need a pal when they get the urge. Or maybe you just need to hold your own little porn party?

Whatever you do, do it quick before you get done for a sex offence.

Need a hand from our inimitable agony aunt? Send your problem to advice@whispermag.co.uk