I Can't Get No Sleep

If you can't sleep there is pretty much nothing that you wouldn't try in the name of a good nights kip, right? Herbal pills, hypnosis, reading, sex, booze... how about putting a plastic gadget in your cleavage?

After bouts of sleep deprivation a girl can go a bit doolally in the twilight hours, so much so that said snoozy girl  might stumble upon strange products that claim to help you sleep....The first being a bit of plastic you wear between your thrupenny bits.

Seriously, the makers of the Kush claim that by putting this product between your breasts it will help you have a more comfortable nights sleep. To be honest nestling something down there isn't our idea of comfort, but we persevered intent to find out what the reasoning is. Well, apparently the best position to fall asleep in is the foetal position,  as it aligns your spine correctly at night. However if you have large boobs, this can be an uncomfortable position to be in, making one breast weigh down on the other.

Ah! It kind of makes sense; the Klush helps busty ladies enjoy snoozing on their side. It also helps to keep your boobs looking good - apparently you wake up as unwrinkled and as pert as ever and this will help stop that old lady line cleavage developing over the years. We are not entirely convinced of its benefits or the sex appeal (actually it might be a laugh just to see his little face when you climb into bed with plastic fantastic). If your boobs are getting in the way of sleep perhaps it is worth a punt? Get yours for £19.99 or try using a pot of vitamins - just kidding! We wouldn't do that...

To help you drift off to sleep and nice comfy pillow is essential and for some people soothing music does the trick. Well some clever dick has invented a product that takes care of both of these bedtime needs. You may be thinking - why do I need this in my life when I have a CD player? Well you playing music is going to keep some other poor sod awake and wearing headphones to bed his hardly comfortable. So The Sound Asleep Pillow has a speaker within, playing you a lullaby of your choice once you have hooked it up to your MP3 player.

This bit of technology will set you back £19.99 or if you want extra comfort the Memory Foam Sound Asleep Pillow is £29.99. This pillow moulds to your own body shape to ensure the most comfort possible, it can even help with relieving neck tension and tinnitus apparently. Again we are not entirely convinced how practical this gadget is, but worth ago if you are willing to splash the cash on what is essentially a musical pillow.

If you fancy trying alternative medicine with a gadget enhancing twist then the Sleep Partner could be what you are looking for. The name sounds like a polite way of saying you have hired a male escort to read you a night time story, but of course that isn't what it is! It's a strange looking bracelet.

We are back to wearing strange things in bed with this gadget. Apparently it is based on acupuncture points, rather than having needles put in you though you simply slip on the bracelet half an hour before you hit the hay and throughout the night. The wrist has acupuncture points that are traditionally associated with sleep. This is also £19.95 and has a dial so you can adjust the pressure.

Some of these products may work, but we suggest that you don't purchase them if you are sleep deprived at the time. There are of course sensible ways to get some snooze check out the NHS direct for some suggestions.