A Girl's Guide to Rugby

So, ladies. Rugby. A game played by flat nosed, cauliflower-eared men with odd shaped balls. I can imagine the revulsion reverberating through you. But think again - the Beautiful Game is definitely a great deal more than a testosterone driven display of machismo, but, hell, let’s face it, who can ignore that?!

The toned, fit bodies in tight shirts and short shorts, buns like two melons in a sack and firm, flexing quads powering in the scrums or down the wing?  Add a rain shower and wow! Gorgeous, wet male bodies pitting themselves against each other for 80 minutes – I defy you to find that repulsive.

Granted, not every player is a gift to women, but there are many who more than make up for that and with the season now well underway, there are a lot of reasons to cast your eye over a match and see what I mean. Who knows?  You may actually end up falling for the game, like I did!

So, players aside, here's a crash course in the rules of the game itself. At first glance, it looks indecipherable, but it isn’t. The nuances take a little time to understand, but the basics are as follows:

There are two codes or styles - Rugby Union and Rugby League. Union is played domestically more in the south and League north of Watford Gap, although men and women play both worldwide. I’ll stick with my favourite, Union.

Union has 15 players per team. A try is worth 5 points, conversion 2 points, a penalty or a drop goal 3 points each. The ball, when handled, can only be passed backwards from player to player and it can also be kicked.

You will often hear commentators referring to ‘set pieces’, which are the scrum and the line out; other references are to rucks and mauls. A good catch of the ball is often called a ‘nice take’, but be wary, as a female spectator, of yelling out ‘nice tackle!’ when one player performs that manoeuvre on another – it can lead to an uncomfortable blush staining the features of the utterer. 

Want to see examples of all these on YouTube? Check out the links at the end of this piece. But now - enough of the technical stuff and on to the important bit.  The players. There isn’t enough room to mention all of the professional hotties, but here are a few good reasons to check the game out.

Danny Cipriani

D.O.B.:  2nd Nov 1987

Birthplace:  Roehampton

Height:  1.83 m (6’ 0”)

Weight:  89 kgs (14 st)

Plays for: London Wasps and England

Read more about Kelly Brook and her new squeeze Mr Cipriani here!

Ben Cohen



D.O.B.:  14th Sept 1978

Birthplace:  Northampton

Height:  6’ 2”

Weight:  16 st

Plays for:  CA Brive (France) and England

Read an interview with Ben here about being an openly gay rugby player.

Juan Martin Hernandez





D.O.B.:  7th Aug 1982

Birthplace:  Buenos Aires

Height:  1.85m (6’ 0”)

Weight:  85 kgs

Plays for:  Stade Francais (Paris) and Argentina

Watch clips of the lovely Juan in action - on a photoshoot, that is - here or here!



Dan Carter





D.O.B.:  5th Mar 1982

Birthplace:  Leeston, Canterbury, NZ

Height:  1.79m

Weight:  91 kgs

Plays for:  Perpignan (France)

See Dan getting a warm welcome in France here or, more importantly, with his top off here.

A montage of players awaits you here!

There are so many more of them out there, both in Union and League – go and check them out. I guarantee you’ll never look at rugby the same way again!

Finally, if this has whet your appetite for the game of rugby - and how could it not have done?! - click on the below terms to see them happening in a real game.

Try

Conversion

Penalty

Drop Goal

Scrum

Line Out

Rucks

Mauls

Tackle (not like that!)