The Seven Men You Should Never Date

Deadly sins, dwarves, wonders of the world - most things that come in sevens are a bit dubious and somewhat hard to believe in, which are exactly the reasons why we reckon these seven men are ones to steer clear of. For the sake of womankind, read on!

1. The Boozer
Ah, it's so much fun at first - you've met the life and soul of the party. He's the 'first-in-last-out' kind of bloke that will always make sure a night out is ended with a couple of shots and maybe even a kebab if you're lucky. Yes - the cracks are starting to become evident already. He might bring out the party girl in you, but there is a limited glamour in going out on the lash every night, and sooner rather than later you'll be worn out, dazed and probably risking getting fired (it's properly illlegal you know) by typing semi-drunken emails to your boss the next morning explaining away the mysterious 'prawn sandwich food poisoning' that means you can't make it in to work.

Why he's hard to resist: His party-all-the-time attitude has all the hedonism of your student days - but this time without the traffic cones on heads.

Why you should avoid at all costs: This boy leads only to hangovers, scarily depleted bank balances, and psoriasis.

2. The Pretty Boy
It's a horrible cliche, but it's really not funny when you're trying to get ready in the morning and your man keep darting in front of the mirror to preen his hair with his eyebrows raised and lips apart in that Zoolanderish way. Please. You want a man, not a mannequin. Ironing his socks and considering an eyebrow wax are not manly pursuits. This boy thinks he has just as much right to look good as you do and for that foolish reason alone, he must be stopped.

Why he's hard to resist: Alright, we admit that maybe he does look better than the average male, and personal hygiene and a good haircut do go a long way.

Why you should avoid at all costs: He is in love with the mirror and you'll never even come close to battling versus his D&G shower gel for his affection. We want a man, not a peacock!

3. The Company Man
Everyone likes a bit of ambition, and when it starts paying off with promotions and more money to splash, a man with a good job brings out the scary "This is a good one - he can provide for me and our potential children" cavewoman-ish tendencies. Yikes. The thing is, he'll be so willing to put in the hours at work that you'll only end up seeing him via a video conference on his Blackberry.

Why he's hard to resist: A man with drive and sharp suits can be a very seductive thing to a woman - NB. John Major, and he didn't even have the suits.

Why you should avoid at all costs: He'll be more interested in checking his emails than getting pissed with you, and it's only a matter of time before he suggests a two night 'city break' is a better idea than a week in Benidorm.

4. The Mummy's Boy
To begin with, seeing your man dote on his mum is a very charming site that warms the heart. But then the alarm bells start ringing, and they only get louder. You start to notice that his opinions about things are actually hers, that he speaks to her on the phone more than strictly necessary and - oh, please no - you realise that most of his clothes were actually bought for him by his mum as Christmas presents.

Why he's hard to resist: He's caring, affectionate and isn't the type to swear in front of your dad.

Why you should avoid at all costs: A spaniel is also all of those things.

5. The Bohemian
Johnny Depp has almost made this word synonymous with hot men, but don't be fooled. The wannabe guitar-playing poet is a dangerous and unhygienic creature. He might draw you a portrait using only the sap of some old weeds he's growing in his back garden, but he'll need a bath almost all the time and probably won't have a phone. Plus these days, lethargic bohemians are more likely to develop an addiction by Guitar Hero than the far more romantic pursuits of absinthe and opium of the olden days.

Why he's hard to resist: That look in his eye that suggests he's thinking of rhymes for your name... And of course as all women know, seeing a man play a guitar increases his level of attractiveness by about 10,000%.

Why you should avoid at all costs: He's scatty, unlikely to be as deep as he thinks he is, and will probably need you to buy him cans of chick peas on a very regular basis.

6. The Younger Man
There comes a stage in every girl's life when she realises that she is no longer a girl but suddenly a woman. A woman in danger of turning into her own mum. This occurs when you find yourself admiring younger men. Men about eight years younger. These are little boys! Of course, a sizeable age difference is often completely irrelevant, but if you're 25 and find yourself admiring a 16 year old's biceps, it's practically time to welcome in the menopause.

Why he's hard to resist: He's so cute! And so taut! And so energetic!

Why you should avoid at all costs: He's probably doing his GCSEs, still has a pet hamster, and thinks Miley Cyrus is hot. Stop it, you dirty old woman!

7. The Geek
You kind of remember the name of the guy who wrote the Sin City graphic novels (and you used the phrase 'graphic novel', not 'comic' - YES!), your little brother used to play World of Warcraft, and you sort of know what a pivot table on Excel is. With this knowledge comes the Geek Man - the bloke who isn't ashamed to say he works in IT and who wears hiking boot style trainers. He's sweet, and innocent, and being around him makes you feel like you are too (sort of).

Why he's hard to resist: He's totally unlike anyone else you've dated, he's sensitive, and he's quite happy to stay in and discuss the orbs on Most Haunted with you when you can't be arsed to go out.

Why you should avoid at all costs: He's boring, crap in bed and has no style - and you know it.


Has anyone been left off this list? Let us know - post a comment below. In the meantime, beware of these men - they are lurking everywhere and highly dangerous.