They're All Talk: Overheard on Public Transport

It's one of those things we aspire to from the minute we get into a car with our best friend's big sister/brother at the wheel. For those who spend their lives zipping to and from work in their Clio/Micra/Beetle, the journey is at a speed set by you and with people you choose to include. For those of us who commute, however, the journey can often be the highlight of the day.

For those of us who sit on the bus, bleary-eyed and fed up, a reassuring conversation with the gossiping two women behind you makes you remember what it means to laugh on a Monday morning:

'Ahh did you hear about Trisha in accounts? She went for that date with that fella
from IT support and-'

'-he stood her up. Yeah I heard about that. What a dick!'

By the time you're off the bus, you know the ins and outs of the love lives in the
office as well as details of the Christmas do (which is being planned now despite the fact that it's only April).

There are different types of commuters as well. There are the ones who get the same train every day at the same time who bellow into their mobiles about the emails they've sent and memos they've passed on to Jerry (whoever he is). Then there are the ones who make it their mission to get a seat. By God, will they get a seat. You can be on crutches, in a neck brace AND carrying a suitcase and they'll still park themselves smugly in the last seat on the train and bury their heads in the Metro.

But it's the commuter who say nothing at all that are usually the most interesting. Sarah, a student from Wigan shared her story;

"The carriage on the train to Blackpool was virtually empty apart from this one bloke dressed in jeans who just stared out of the window for the entire journey. As I sat for an hour and 17 minutes looking over at this one other person, I started to wonder what he did for a living, and whether he was from around the area. I even pictured his voice. It would be deep and husky, simply because he looked like he'd been out drinking the night before." As the train neared Blackpool, however, Sarah got a shock, "His mobile went and he answered in the squeakiest voice ever, 'Yeah, I'm here now. And what were you sitting on, a kebab?' I actually laughed out loud. He wasn't too impressed I don't think!"

From the latest news in work to the story about the girl who was having an affair, public transport has never been so entertaining. On the tube in London recently, David, a writer, was making his way to Charing Cross when he encountered his spot of travel banter. He explains;

"The tube was rammed and I was next to two men who were chatting away. One of them said something under his breath and his mate said loudly, 'Ahh it's ok mate, just go down the clinic and let them have a look.' I do NOT want to know what that was all about!"

So, for those seeking a bit of amusement on the way into work, try taking the bus. It'll keep you going for the rest of the day and is much more substantial than cornflakes.