Featured Man: Russell ‘The Diamond’ Gould

Russell ‘The Diamond’ Gould, 30, is an, ahem, professional darts player, lothario, and apparently known as ‘Shit Cock’ to his friends.

The Diamond is an usual name – where did it come from?
I was surfing one afternoon and noticed that, according to Wikipedia, the word diamond derives from an ancient Greek word meaning ‘invincible’ or ‘untamed‘. No man can beat me at darts, and no woman has ever managed to tame me! It’s therefore perfect. I mentioned it to the media, who seemed to like it, so it stuck! Girls sometimes ask whether I’m called the Diamond because I give it to them really HARD!

Lovely! Describe the personality of your ideal woman.
The Diamond likes his women East European, with huge tits, and a sound understanding of the rules of Darts!   She should also be able to drink pints, and shout the Diamond’s name really loudly (during both Sex and Darts).

What's the least attractive thing a girl can do?
The Diamond’s girls should never speak to other men, especially when he is on the oche!

What do you first notice about the opposite sex?
Whether or not they are asking me for the Diamond’s autograph – if not, I am not interested!  Why shag someone who doesn’t realize you are a star!

How many serious relationships have you had?
Ah, the ‘R’ word. The Diamond always leaves the moment one of the Diamond’s girls uses this!

How do you know if a girl is flirting with you? 
When she licks the Diamond’s flights.

How do you know when you’re in love? 
The Diamond always tells girls he loves them immediately after sex. I think it’s important to make a girl feel special.

How important is it for a girl to wear perfume?
This is essential. Ideally she will wear one of the Diamond’s own perfumes – Pure Gould (backed by Tommy Hilfiger) or Treble 20 (very popular in Holland).

Would you tolerate unshaved underarms?
Of course - it is quite fashionable in Eastern Europe.

How often do you wash your bed sheets?
Mum visits twice a week and does this for me, after our baths.

How many people is it acceptable for a woman to have slept with? 
Ah – a trick question! The Diamond is very liberal, but once a girl has slept with him they never wish to shag anyone else.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?
24

How would you describe yourself as a lover? 
The Diamond lasts forever…  he is also very nice to a girl’s best friend.

Would you ever take part in a threesome?
Yes - without hesitation. The nearest the Diamond has got thus far, is giving it to a girl, hard, in a Newbury hotel room, while her roommate slept in the next bed.

What is your favourite position?
The Diamond likes to take girls from behind – this enables me to see myself in the mirror!

What do you think makes a girl ‘girlfriend’ material?
Beer!

What one thing would you change in your romantic or sexual past?
While on a darts tour of Nepal, I had a brief yet memorable affair with a tiresome Nepalese Sherpa. I wish I had given her ‘the push’ sooner!

Who is the best looking male celebrity in your opinion?
Me – Russell “The Diamond” Gould.  Professional Darts player. Alpha Male. Seducer of half Eastern Europe. Why do you think they constructed the Iron Curtain? The Polish women couldn’t bear to see The Diamond leave!

What song would you play to get a woman in the mood?
I like to play Going For Gould by Shed Seven and Diamonds Are Forever by David McAlmont to get myself in the mood!

Tell us who is the hottest woman of all time…
My mum.

Do I get a shag for managing to answer all of the above questions?
Er… no, sorry Diamond. Thanks for the insight into your world though!

Chaps! Reckon you can come up with more daring answers than The Diamond’s? Email liz@whispermag.co.uk!