Conspiracy Theories: What They Don't Want You To Know...

With the world seemingly getting smaller every day with the rise of Facebook and MySpace, Sykpe, videophone messaging and machines taking over from humans (from the checkout machines in Tesco to things like these eternally-creepy humanoids), is it any wonder that conspiracy theorists are really coming into a golden age?

The internet has played a massive part in making everyone aware of conspiracy theories, and a 10-second spot of Googling unearths literally thousands of paranoid websites, created by all kinds of people from the modern-sceptic to the borderline deranged. But should we really be worried, or is it more pinch-of-salt type situation?

At the heart of many conspiracy theorists’ concerns is of course September 11. The motives, implementation and effects of this terrible tragedy are among the most hotly debated subjects of all time, with everything from governmental orchestration to alien involvement coming under the spotlight. Take a look here for heaps of theories about 9/11 (you might need a few weeks to get through it all).


Regardless of who was really behind the terrible events of that day, there’s no doubt that the mysteries of it are certainly helping to keep 9/11 in the headlines and at the top of many people’s consciousness – undoubtedly one of the perpetrators’ desired effects. The truth is out there – and plenty of people are determined to find it…

Another of the most famous elements of conspiracy culture is the work, research and theories of David Icke. Formerly Coventry City FC goalkeeper, Icke retired from football to pursue his apparently madcap ideas centering on the belief that a global elite – the Illuminati – are plotting to take over the world. His theories stretch way beyond just this sinister class war, however; he also suggests a wild variety of theories such as microchipping of hospital patients and UFO activity. Unlike many eccentric rambling nutters, Icke manages to maintain an eloquent delivery, which has gained him immeasurable media attention and many devoted followers of his research. Check out his website here for more info on loads of theories (and especially our favourite lizard-based one, as mentioned below) – or book your tickets to go and see him talk live!
www.davidicke.com

Then there are the endless ‘1984’-esque theories of government surveillance and remote control. It is actually a bit more scarily believable that it may seem that the powers that be can control us – a few days in Las Vegas will prove to any sceptic how easy it is to involuntarily become a puppet to a system, what with there being no clocks or windows anywhere, and oxygen being pumped into the casinos to keep everyone awake (and losing money). Terrifyingly, we will surely never know the extent to which the government is controlling and monitoring us… Just thinking about the potential for surveillance in this age of technology is enough to make anyone paranoid!

While it often seems that the only people who really still want to discuss Diana’s death are the editors at the laughably small-minded Daily Mail, there are still legions of Diana fans determined to find out the truth about how and why she died. Did the Queen take out a contract on her? Or is the ‘people’s princess’ still alive and well, Elvis-style, after faking her own death to escape the media glare? Or did florists kill her?! Have a look here for loads of crazy theories.

There is a theory that Helen Mirren’s apparently Masonic tattoo on her left hand led to her getting her Oscar winning role in 2006 blockbuster The Queen. There are theories that the (real) Queen is a member of a Masonic Lodge, a secret and highly mysterious society that abides by its own, often obscure, moral and ethical guidelines.

Even wilder than imagining the Queen dressed in robes and performing weird ceremonies at the head of a table of creepy old men (oh hang on…that sounds just like the royal family anyway…) is David Icke’s belief that she in fact part of a race of reptiles who take key positions in the global community, set on world domination (George Bush is one too, by the way, and apparently Tony Blair is going through his period of change to become a lizard, as the picture apparently proves – it’s all in the eyes).

It’s all a bit Harry Potter for our liking… but then, who knows?